Attract Authentic Love by Julia Keller

Author:Julia Keller
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784522865
Publisher: Panoma Press Ltd

Most men need to find a woman attractive to consider her as long-term partner potential

I have to admit that one of the biggest surprise discoveries from the interviews I held with men was just how much visually oriented they actually are initially, more so than I would have guessed, and to what extent that plays into their decision making of whether they consider a woman a serious potential partner or not. I always knew, of course, that men were guided visually. One can see this clearly by watching men’s eyes dart around the room and how they look at women even when they try to be subtle about it (such as when they’re with another woman). I’ve heard many, many stories of women complaining that their boyfriend or husband just can’t stop himself from looking at other women. There have also been many psychological studies proving the point that men are indeed very visually oriented. But hearing men admit to this and, in fact, add quite a lot of impetus on to it, was rather disconcerting.

Much of this, as we know, is due to evolution. Back in the days when men were still officially the hunter/gatherer, they had to make decisions that would influence their survival (and the survival of their species or clan) based on visual stimuli. This decision-making process continues to this day, though in a somewhat different and more modernised way of course; when faced with abundant choice, for instance, men still decide which woman they choose based on how appealing they find her visually. However, this is not meant to be disheartening as different men prefer different types of women. What men are looking for really is proof that you care enough about yourself to put enough care into your appearance. Most men also want to see that you are healthy. This was demonstrated amply by what body type most of the men I spoke to seemed to prefer: not too overweight and not too skinny. These men confirmed a preference for women who looked ‘fit’, but that ranged greatly between men of what exact body type it referred to.

For us women, there are two sides to this coin. On the one hand, it could make us feel like a display model in some shop window, which is clearly not a very nice feeling. Many women I speak with argue against making themselves visually more appealing in order to meet someone and prefer to ‘be themselves’. I completely buy into this argument and agree that the visual onus being on us doesn’t seem particularly fair, especially as often the same men who said that they want a beautiful woman by their side weren’t so perfectly in shape themselves. I also don’t take very warmly to the idea that some people who have been more gifted genetically than others will be happier in love. In fact, research doesn’t seem to show this at all. Women of all different sizes and shapes and looks manage to find love

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